Five Times Rory Met Jack
by RicardianScholar Clark-Weasley
Summary: because waiting two thousand years and being plastic you're bound to meet an immortal time traveller at some point in your life


**1. When Rory Met Jack**

Rory sat there flickering his hand open and shut. Over and over again. The loud clicking sound was the only noise in the cold cave. The Pandorica was supporting his back as he sat there quietly.

Waiting.

For the Doctor to solve and save everything. For Amy to be save and ready to marry him. For some sort of magical cure to make him human again. For some sort of entertainment because he was bored out of his skull right now.

Suddenly a bright blue white light shone and a man appeared. He was good looking in a cheesy romance kind of way and wore clothes that looked like they were from World War Two.

Rory stood up and held his sword up in warning. "Who are you?" he said in his most intimidating voice.

"Captain Jack Harkness and who are you" the man said grinning and giving a Rory a once over. For some reason Rory felt like he was being stripped naked by this man. "An Auton? I never thought I'd see such a good looking one. They're usually faceless and rather dull but you got the cute puppy look as well as the sexy uniform. Very grr"

"Err...thanks" Rory said lowering his sword.

"So why is an Auton hanging out here thousands of years out of his time? Aren't you supposed to attempt an invasion in 2005?" Jack asked as he sat himself down next to where Rory had sat.

"I'm not really an Auton...well I am...but before I was a nurse in 2010"

"Now that's a story I got to hear" Jack said leaning forward, head resting on a hand as he looked at Rory as if he was the most important thing in the universe. Which was ridiculous because the most important thing in the universe was locked in that stone block. "I bet you made a sexy nurse"

He felt a blush rise but he shook his head and began his story. Once he was finished Jack was laughing hysterically. Rory felt rather humiliated and angry.

"It's not that funny!" he shouted.

"Oh but it is! You're so whipped Rory Williams, you remind me of another man who was wrapped round his fiancé's little finger. And now you're made of plastic. You're literally Amy Pond's boy toy. Her giant sex doll. Oh this is classic"

Without even thinking about it, Rory's hand flipped open and he shot Jack Harkness right in the head.

"Oh shit!" Rory cried out as Jack laid there dead. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to kill you!" he reached out to check the man when he suddenly sat up gasping for air. "Jesus Christ!" Rory yelped jumping back. "You ok? Look I'm sorry for shooting you, I didn't mean it. I just wanted you to stop laughing and my hand just auto-"

"It's all right Rory" Jack said ruffling Rory's fringe. "I annoy some people. Trust me the Doctor had been so tempted to throw me out of the airlock far too many times. I've lost count"

"You know the Doctor?"

So Jack then told him his story. How he was immortal and a time traveller in his right. About Rose and the past two Doctors, thus preparing Rory for any meeting with a Doctor that had a different face. They then spent a month talking about the Doctor, his good qualities, flaws and their best adventures.

Jack then spent another couple months trying to seduce Rory.

By the time it was supposed to be Christmas Jack got bored and promised Rory he'll visit another time before vanishing in another bright blue white light.

**2. A Medieval Drink**

"So long time, no see Rory Williams" Jack said once Rory sat down with two mugs of ale. "How did you end up here?"

"Strangely enough some knights dug me and Amy out. They've been trying to solve the Pandorica for ages but I scare most of them off. The King decided to make me joust some of them just for his own entertainment"

"Yeah kings are selfish bastards" Jack said taking a gulp of ale. He sighed and smacked his lips. "Good stuff this"

"I wouldn't really know" Rory said sadly.

"I really do forget you're made of plastic"

"So do I...I mean I remember being Rory. I remember growing up and eating and drinking and sleeping. I remember Amy so clearly...I am Rory"

"That's the spirit" Jack took another gulp. "You got any plans for the future?"

Rory shook his head. "I need to move the Pandorica. I thought maybe Nottingham. See if I could find the real Robin Hood and have him help me guard it"

"Ah...yeah probably not the best idea. Robin isn't the good guy all those legends claim him to be"

"Is anyone?"

"Well Merlin is a great guy...if you like the Doctor enough to ignore his flaws"

"You got to be kidding me"

"Fraid not" Jack finished his ale and took Rory's. "Thanks for this by the way"

"You beat me in the joust and decided I can keep my girl if I and I quote 'pay for all my drinks and women tonight' so there's no real point in thanking me"

"At least you're buying me a drink. The Doctor never did that"

"I thought the Doctor got by through his companions money. I know I paid for dinner three weeks straight"

"Skint and cheap bastard that one"

**3. Tudor Court**

At one point the Pandorica ended up with the Tudor family. Henry VII was smart enough to leave it alone and ignore Rory's existence. Henry VIII tried to solve the problem but got bored and very busy very quickly. Edward was too sick, Mary didn't know it existed but Elizabeth had been determined to open it. She had many debates and rows with Rory but he never stepped aside. Eventually she tried to have him imprisoned and he had to use his hand gun.

Therefore he was labelled as the Devil and was about to be burned for witchcraft (or hanged or drowned or anything that was rather nasty) when Jack Harkness flattered the Queen into saving Rory.

"You should be snogging me in gratitude you know" Jack said with his arm slung round Rory's shoulders.

"Aren't you a little busy with the Queen?" Rory asked.

"She's a virgin for a reason Ror. She's too damn stubborn though I heard the Doctor had succeeded in doing it so I think I should have her every night for the next year"

"The Doctor slept with Elizabeth the first!"

"I know surprising, isn't it? Then again I have to admit the sixteenth century is notorious for the sex scandals. Probably why I enjoy it here. You know I spent decades hopping to each of Henry's wives trying to seduce them"

"Oh yeah? Any luck"

"Well Catherine of Aragon would only play chess with me and nothing more. She was too faithful to Fat Hen to take me into her bed chamber but she did enjoy my company, after all who wouldn't? Anne Boleyn hopped into bed with me but then again I heard she was a bit of a slut. She was a very fascinating woman actually. Intelligent and stubborn. Shame she died but she did make far too many enemies. Jane Seymour was very shy and quiet. I don't think she liked the King much, I couldn't be too sure really. Anne of Cleves was part alien. That explains the smell; it was her alien pheromones trying to catch a mate. And boy did we mate all night long. She was an excellent lover, I wonder if we ever had a child she hidden away. Oh well. Little Kitty Howard...now that was a child. She was very selfish and vain but she had a smile that reminded me of a friend of mine, tongue poking out her little teeth as she taunted all the boys. And last but not least Catherine Parr. Sweet Katie. She needed more fun in her life which I did deliver but I wasn't enough since she threw herself away at that snake Tom"

"You know" Rory said looking at Jack with disbelief. "Your ego almost makes the Doctor's look small.

Jack laughed. "What can I say? I'm a charmer and I adore people. Which wife is your favourite?"

"I only ever met one of them and I always admired her from even before I met her" Rory said smiling to himself. "Catherine of Aragon"

"The woman that waited" Jack said. "Yeah...i can see that you two would get along"

**4. When Jack Met Rory **

When Rory was struggling to pull the Pandorica out of the burning building Jack had come to his assistance. They manage to pull it out to a safe and distant place from all the onlookers and even better it was sheltered from bombs at the time being.

"Thank you Jack. It's nice to see you again, it's been how long? Five hundred years give or take a few?"

Jack looked up at him with confusion and a flirtatious delight that was forever just pure Jack. "I'm sorry but have we met before?" he asked. His voice had a thicker American accent to it than before. "Ah...centurion costume. You don't go shopping much do you? Time agent or random time traveller?"

"Err...random time traveller I travelled with the Doctor"

"Who?"

"Never mind. You'll find out soon enough" Rory said.

"I'm Captain Jack Harkness and who are you?" it took a lot of restraint to not roll his eyes. Even back in the past Jack was still as flirty as ever. And Rory felt like he was being undressed again.

"Rory Williams"

"Well Rory Williams. I don't suppose you realise this but your clothes are way out of this time zone. I think we should do a little shopping, maybe a lunch and afternoon drinks and then really get to know each other"

"Please don't make me shoot you again"

**5. Non-Plastic Meeting**

The TARDIS answered a distress call and the moment the Doctor exited the blue box he was snogged by Jack Harkness. Rory blinked but wasn't very surprised really. It was Jack. Amy however looked gobsmacked and Rory really wished he had a camera on him.

When Jack pulled away the Doctor wiped his mouth in disgust. "Yes hi Jack" he said rolling his eyes. "Do I want to know what you've done now?"

"Always the disapproval and accusatory tones with you isn't it?" Jack said pouting slightly. He then winked at Rory before pulling him into a snog in his very own. He pulled away and laughed. "You're no longer made of plastic, cutie"

"And I thought I told you to never do that" Rory said recalling one of their discussions at the Stonehenge.

"What can I say? You have irresistible eyes" Jack said turning to Amy. "Ah now you must be the beautiful Amy Pond. Rory never shuts up about you. I like the red hair. Very beautiful indeed"

Jack moved in to kiss her when Rory grabbed his arm. "That's my wife" he said glaring.

"Ah Rory, you can't act all jealous just because I kissed you first. It's only fair that I get to kiss you all really" Jack said.

Rory raised an eyebrow and then shrugged. "Yeah all right"

Amy would have been offended but Jack was a very good kisser.


End file.
